Get "Humpy"

The was some garbage in the basement window well. You know that space by basement windows that is like a hole in the ground? About three years of garbage that included an egg carton, several soda bottles--w/ labels faded beyond recognition... a BK bag and (drumroll please maestro)---a disgusting old tie dyed plush toy elephant. It was basically pink but was so moldy and dirty--three winters outside--you can imagine.

Pete cleaned all of it out and then Bree discovered the toy elephant just laying there; all forlorn on the lawn. And then Jarvis discovered it. They were both in love. Jarvis demonstrated his adoration in a very physical way and I named the toy "Humpy" about 15 minutes into the lovefest (JRT's are not picky when it comes to sex partners) Bree discovered that it used to squeak. Past tense.

Now the abandoned elephant made a noise more akin to a garbled grunt of pain. It was so pathetic. She destroyed that thing in the space of 12 hours--the squawker resembled a stomach with a shredded plastic esophagus. But before the final decimation this morning-- they tortured the poor thing, practically tug of warred it to death, ear by ear--eviscerated fluff ball by fluff ball.

Death to Humpy. We may need to get a new Humpy. It was rather entertaining.