12/27/21

The township (Pittsfield) has been very clear. This spring they are gonna fuck up 10 feet of my front yard so they can run a new sewer line. The dogs are losing their minds because the dude in the safety vest is out there pounding fuschia putt putt flags into my lawn. I guess I get to look at them all winter. His line is precariously close to a 200+ year old oak tree. I am not happy. That tree is about 10% of the reason we bought this property. I LOVE that tree. I doubt they can "restore" it. I don't like being told to sign documents giving them permission to do this. I AM NOT HAPPY.

New Recipe

Some friends inspired me to make Colorado Mole. They made chili that was wonderful, prizewinning in fact! I cross referenced what they did, with two recipes; from two trustworthy cookbooks. I seeded and stemmed the dried chilis. Toasted the bits, soaked them in broth, blended till puree and then smothered a nice chuck roast in the crock pot. It smells divine.

Ass is in the seat...

Stream of consciousness-- Somewhere I have a quote by Neil Gaiman that basically says put your ass in the chair and write...everyday. It is 19F outside. Which means the shed is 19F. It will take prly 4 hours to get warm. So-- I am "working" from inside, where it is 72F. Which means I am also doing laundry, planning meals washing dishes and being pawed by doggos. It is too cold to walk. I don't want to go to gym whilst Covid rages. I did do some strength. I am trying to think in complete sentences. Yesterday SUCKED. It was super windy (said storm cell brought all this cold...thanks Minnesota) DH got a colonoscopy because that is what OLD MEN DO!... it is now day four of hearing nonstop about his ass. Our middle son/housemate decided to use his afternoon off to chill with friends but road conditions kept going white out so I fretted till he was home. He is home and he is fine. The driveway guys need to fix the sinkhole. Daughter's hotdate turned out to be a wee bit too much so that is 'closing'. At least they figured it out before holidays. bleh I am taking my daily D again.That seems to be helping w/depression but jesus-- I just wish I could sleep all night. Fabi took some GREAT Christmas shots of Danny. Can't post online... so email me if ya want to see them. Red Wings are winning despite two guys of COVID protocol. Not dead yet.

Poor Mrs. Poe

I am so very haunted by the tiny fireplace in Poe's House in Baltimore so cold when it snows.

Squirrel Feast

Whilst out walking the dogs; I often notice things that have changed. Sometimes it is just six hours previous. Occasionally, it is a day or two. Sunday I noticed the shredded remains of something eating the bark on a tree branch. It looked like deer nibbly but it was up quite high and there weren't any tracks. So maybe, I dunno... raccoon? Prly, just a squirrel. They went at it pretty hard though. Pete took this pic formecuz I hate being tracked everywhere I go. Should've taken my "real" camera... but dogs...

Tidal Sun

If we lived upside down fishes of light and air gravity moon forming lowtide ripples in the clouds the sandy sable sunset catching ridges morning light of dusk

Feeling washed up

This poem could be a metaphor, about our first infant grandson being bathed in my kitchen sink the same sink that is behind the window that looks upon a winter garden the kitchen sink where I wash the spoon that fed the baby. When he was here. and I felt alive.

Tuesday is Monday

This morning in the shed I added up my work hours from last week. Eleven. Hmmm... I def have more time sunk into AnimalCrossing. Need to fix that. I suppose I could offer the excuse that my grandson was IN MY HOUSE! Matt was in Trevor's wedding. So the Cali kids zoomed in and zoomed out. It was the first time Danny was here and praise the goddess. It snowed!

I also got my first issue of Writer's Digest in quite some time (ten years?). That is a reassuring thing. In the Nov/Dec there is an article about crowdfunding publication. That idea sure AF worked for Izzy and Timmy. To much excited rejoicing, the Galley Copies for their graphic novel arrived. I am so proud of them. The 50th Anni of Christopher Street is gonna be big next year!

Sunny Monday 9:30--Brain Purge

OK. I think I am getting this "work thing" down. In my writing shed this brilliant Fall morning-- it is 65F. I am dressed, fed and ready to get to work. I added a bird feeder out here. I need to create a hockey team (cops and firefighters--their goalie is the park ranger). I am conciously trying to stay focused. Two things (whoops 3! nope 4! lol) I want to discuss (please for the loveofgod make a damn comment) 1. Matt and Fabi are bringing Danny HERE!THURSDAY NIGHT!AHHHHH!!! I am so excited. Matt is in Trevor's wedding. Trev and Jelly married legally last year, on their front porch --during COVID lockdown. Finally, they get their party. YAY! 2.Animal Crossing Update...omg...the game that saved me during aforementioned lockdown has a great refresh

but, what I wanted to think about was my previous disdain for "Second Life" and my concern after reading READY PLAYER ONE, numerous times, that I have more joy in Animal Crossing than maybe healthy. It is truly addicting. I have logged 544 hours since it dropped last year. That averages out to a lot of time...you thought I was gonna say wasted eh? Nope. Cozy, warm and safe playing a charming game, often with the entire House Fam-- plus Izzy's pals. I effing love it. Come at me. 3. Holy Mother of Dragons, did you watch Yellowstone's Season4 premiere last night?!? SPOILER effing ALERT! LEAVE NOW! GO WATCH IT! Sweet Jesu! .. ... .... Where do I start? Did the Duttons survive? Is the Yellowstone ranch safe? And most importantly, who was effing responsible for the mass murder attempt? Family eradication would indicate Jaime. I have NO IDEA...can Jaime be THAT EVIL?! He was the only one not targeted. I am pretty sure it isn't Rainwater, but his chola attorney Angela Blue Thunder? Roll for alignment there missy.) If you search Yellowstone, Beth, makeup...you will not get the answer to my question! Who did the makeup on Beth's back? exquisite. Strong work! That is srsly, some Greg Nicotera level work there. John not accepting medical help about ripped (Rip get it?) my heartout remembering my own stubborn daddy. Then we met Grampa Dutton! That spinoff drops in Dec?right? According to Paramount Network's press release-- “1883 follows the Dutton family as they embark on a journey west through the Great Plains toward the last bastion of untamed America. It is a stark retelling of Western expansion, and an intense study of one family fleeing poverty to seek a better future in America’s promised land—Montana.” 'stark'? well...yes...sheesh Kaycee is not right in the head, and now Tate won't be either. I am using every ounce of self control I have to not watch episode2 w/out Pete. We watched the premiere AFTER the Wings won. 4. The Wings were on a road trip w/out Larkin. It was problematic. It is none of our business why he missed three games, but I am thrilled he is back to ride herd on these rookies. Thankfully, we weren't in Canada,(I am still P.O.ed Bertuzzi won't get his damn vaccine.) So...together Bert and Lark's chemistry got us two wins back to back!

New Habit

My plan is to write every day. If I walk the dogs, FIRST--turn on the heater and then get to work after walkies-- then the shed will be warm by the time we get back. Good plan eh? I need a thermometer out here. 41F outside. Z and Izzy walked with us. We went down by SandCastle Farm to "see the horses". Picked up some garbage, but man it is nasty down by the "Crazy Tony Soprano" house. Too much litter from Mickey Ds. I want them, McDonalds (tm) that is, to clean it up. The wetlands down there are saturated from recent heavy rains. I broke off a "blown" cattail head and tossed it in my pond. It was a nice walk. TOTALLY FORGOT TO TURN ON HEATER FIRST! oi. My fingers are cold.

The French Dispatch-TWO THUMBS UP!

It is such a relief to know that everyone in the Michigan Theater (and The State) has shown proof of vaccination. I like movies. Some really need the big screen. We saw our second film Saturday. Izzy was off to Anna's for a Halloween party and Z was at work till 8 so for once it was just Pete and me. The film was worth the risk. I love Wes Anderson. And not just because he is basically my age and a fucking American success! But truly, he is well known for his distinctive eccentricity. His unique voice is at once dry and heartfelt. His visual and narrative style is as marked as Tim Burton or Hitchcock, you know what you are getting! This one even had some fresh animated transitions. I think my favorite is prly Moonrise Kingdom or The Fantastic Mr. Fox, but I do adore Grand Budapest and Life Aquatic. It is tough to choose a favorite, and this one was poking at writers! IN FRENCH! It was delightful. I laughed... a lot! Cuz...Bill Murray.

Rain on a tin roof

A little prewriting session before I get to work wrapping up "GrunkleStan and the derelict cabin". It was 48F,raining and dark as balls. In a synchronous and dare I say, efficent?, move to release the chickens and save my poor toes from going numb the first hour I am out here in my: "Headspace Hideout", my Writing Shed, my Haven, my "shed of one's own"-- I did a thing. AFTER hustling out to the shed, with a shawl over my head looking like a spaceage Ma Ingalls,I turned the lil space heater on. (Can't you just see? Jammies, crocs and umbrella? LOLS.) I'll bet Caroline Ingalls WISHED she had my little Heaterito! This was BEFORE I did morning chores. Then I made a mocha to go and... it is so lovely. The quiet rain thrumming steadily,the cinnamon on my mug overrides the still fresh paint smell. OK. Time to get to work.

First Movie in a Theatre since Lockdown

Last night, 10/21/21, the HouseFam and I used our membership perks at The Michigan Theatre to get four seats to a sneakpeek of Denis Villeneuve’s new iteration of Dune. It was in the Screening Room which has "historically accurate" seats. That was our biggest and only gripe. (Part 1 is 2hrs 35!). In fact, it was such an exciting, happy and memorable moment that when we were greeted by Russ Collins (looking quite fit I might add, nice suit!) I may have gushed and babbled. The masked crew at the concession stand cheered and welcomed us back when we got beers and REAL THEATRE POPCORN! But, back to me briefly thanking Russ for requiring Vax Card checks before anyone could enter the beloved and beautiful old building. I had truly intended to be quick. But, my happy thanks prompted a lil chat. He was grateful that I had said something positive about the required VaxCard. Apparently, some people would prefer to be maskless in a tiny indoor space with a whole lot of other SciFi fans who may or may NOT be vaccinated. Apparently, those people are also very verbal in their crabby and uneducated opinions. We all verbalized that we would not have come if that proof wasn't made obvious. We are all big movie nerds and DUNE is exciting, but it was streaming at our COVIDFree home. It was good to see Russ' eyes crinkle happily under his mask. THE MOVIE ROCKED. So... SO... much better than Lynch's snoozefest. You know I love me some Kyle Maclachlan but the role of young princeling Paul Atreides has been OWNED by Timothée Chalamet. This version of a favorite novel is much more female friendly. Indeed, I loved Rebecca Ferguson as Lady Jessica. The world building seemed more efficient. Fantastic cinematography (GREAT use of scale to indicate the enormity of various "things" LOL) and delicious story telling. Strong work Villeneuve! Strong work! SO VERY GLAD we saw it on a big screen. Exciting space ships, great-quite believable costumes (esp the stillsuits), thankfully the Baron is not nearly so distractingly, ridiculously comical in appearance. I feel the fantastic cast really helped, Aquaman is (and will be) perfect and so was Poe. We did miss the cushy lazyboy chairs of the big chain cinemas, but the knowledge that everyone else felt as safe as we did with "airplane rules" of: Mask on unless you are eating. Made for a wonderful viewing experience. Looking fwd to seeing Chalamet in "The French Dispatch" soon! YAY MOVIES!

It is all about those chonky stems...

I grew these from last year's seed.

Yowza...Grandsons are amazing!

Hi! Sorry, It has been a hot minute. I have literally been jetting back and forth across the country. I can handle Delta's end of LAX like a GD PRO! I highly reccommend TSA Precheck. It is worth every penny. 1. NEW TOPIC:The Driveway. We have paid an obscene amount of money to rip out the 40+ year old asphalt. It has been replaced with curbs and "self locking" gravel. Despite it taking well over a month and being rather wall shakingly/alarmingly loud and dusty? It is lovely. 1a. SHADE GARDEN...in progress, proper essay soon. 60'x 60' blank canvas getting reclaimed to native woodland and a rain garden. 2. NEW TOPIC: My Shed So close,so very close... to having it completed. The power has been inspected and approved and I have hired the dry wall guy who worked in the kitchen. He is coming Saturday! I promise to update more frequently now that D. isn't the NICU and things have settled down in SoCal. He is a chubby happy 8month old (maybe a lil asthma situation, because he is so young the pediatrician won't/can't say/test for "asthma" so we are running with "Restrictive Airway Disease". I suspect he will outgrow it.

sporadic but still alive

Spent most of March in Cali helping with newborn grandson who showed up a month early. Came home for vaccinations and April birthdays,and now May is done. It is June now and lockdown is lightening up. Michigan had a day w/zero new cases. Going back out to Glendora for the rest of June. I am hopeful Z keeps the greenhouse watered. I am trying to write. Mostly poetry notebook and soundbites. I got Bankside/Selkies out and reread. It isn't bad. But yeah... umm... I want to get a used caravan for a writing space.

List are good pre-writing

 Having reached the bit of pandemic claustrophobia where it is disconcertingly odd to remember how blissfully ignorant we were at this point last year; as we approach the YEAR anniversary of this horrific shite...

Top Ten Escapist Things for which I am immensely grateful, that were not appreciated a year ago:

1. My phone

a.) if nothing else...for pics of my brand new grandson.

b.) audible books 

c.) Pgo & Among Us   

d.) texting                

2. Animal Crossing

3. VR workouts

4. the NYT Sunday crossword

5. grocery delivery

6. Past seasons of British Comedy Panel shows

7. the bird feeders outside my windows

8. my dogs

9. The Lisa(s) C.,T. & W.

10. Red Wings hockey

Mission Statement

 How heavy is 2 kilograms? (5lbs or 2,268g)

It's about 12.5 times as heavy as a Puck

It's about 95 times as heavy as a Mouse

It's about 150 times as heavy as an AAA battery

Eggs

 We seem to be getting three eggs  a day. From six hens. Two of which are older and I don't expect them to produce. The mystery is why of the four new Reds, why do we only get three eggs? 

Chickens & Climate Change

The first egg from Isa Red Pullets.

If we don't get some sunshine soon I may as well keep pigeons. According to their age and feathering--I expected the girls to start laying around Dec 25th. Finally got an egg last night, a full month later. In their defense it has been cloudy AF.  I guess the SPF is good? But I do worry about growth cycle of plants. I predict Michigan is gonna turn into mossy Seattle/Portland. Mild winters like the UK? YAY for bees! I guess. As long as I am fretting about the environment.  Let me rant about recycling.  

Last week "they" didn't pick up recycling AT ALL. I, of course tried to rationalize an excuse for shitty service; Covid=less drivers? Z phoned and they said they couldn't get it till regular day. OK. Let it go. 

HOWEVER--Once again, I am questioning the efficacy of this "service".  I want to trust them. I do not. I just watched the same truck dumb our carefully sorted recycling into the same truck, the same compartment as the garbage. Why do I bother sorting if their "single stream" just means landfill? Their webpage does not have easily accessible answers. I do not want to be placated. I want the shit to get recycled.  

 

I don't remember...

 what it is like to not be exhausted.

A Sunny Morning

Uncle Bernie and his awesome mittens.

They are perfect.

The palpable relief of knowing an adult is in charge. A sane, calm human who speaks in complete sentences. Thank Goodness. Poetry and songs, promises and a mighty To-Do List. Congrats Mme. VP!

 

LGRW!!

 I (and several other Wings Fans) have a superstition about washing jerseys. That, if on a winning streak, one does not wash the team colors.

Last year, almost immediately before lockdown, I had a fantastic bDay celly. I wore my favorite soft fan jersey. It has the old Cougers patch on the arm. It laces like an old school team sweater. I got a lil sumthin on it. Nothing like the coneyplopstain on my Mac jersey, but enough that, maybe it needed a wash. Despite storing all the happy bDay memories. SO...

They had a shit season last year...who had a good year last year really?

SO...

They lost their first game wherein Larkin got the "C".

SO...

It is in the wash-- bad luckBE GONE! so the boys can win tonight. #FERDA

Thursday, Jan14.21

 ~On Monday I played chauffeur for Ms Izzy and her eye checkup. She skipped 2019 because of living in Detroit for school. Her 2020 appt was just cancelled cuz COVID!PANIC!... so this year was pretty important. No change in her prescription but WOW has downtown changed. Vault moved some games upstairs. A2H&G is really different-- they added a wall and sectioned off a kitchen swag space. A lot happened in the 9mos I HAVEN'T BEEN DOWNTOWN. It was like a ghost town. I got new leashes for the doggos.

Speaking of dogs and Izzy. She embroidered a little "C"on Lark's RedWings bandanna because yesterday Stevie Y named Dylan Larkin-- Captain.  YAY! He deserves it.

~Let's see Tuesday was odd cuz Z was in an existential/political funk. Anxiety over the pending impeachment. He is usually so zen. Doomscrolling finally got under his skin. I think he just realized we are living history.

~Yesterday was Weds. Thank goodness that MF was impeached AGAIN. Donald Trump became the first US president to get impeached twice, after a House majority (including 10 Republicans) charged him yesterday with “incitement of insurrection.” Supposedly, the Senate trial won’t happen until after Joe Biden is sworn in. Trump will likely serve out his full term in office. I dunno...chaos theory

Finished the puzzle. Liberty Puzzles are amazing and this one was a 1945 map of California.

~Today is Thursday. Pete's day off. (whoopee.  #AnimalCrossing) I will be placing an online order for White Lotus Farms. OH! The Wings skate tonight! If  Chloe's recent test is negative (should be) she will be joining us for Hurricanes and popcorn!

Monday, Jan 11. 2021

 Two self generated (cuz that is how it works. YOU need to WANT it) exercise plans.

Number 1.  RedWingsInspo  Obviously, I am a Detroit Red Wings fanatic. I have been since the '80s.  They are supremely fit and I cringe inside when these six foot NO BODY FAT dudes and I would balance on a teeter totter.

 THUS-Plan UWM (inside helmet/sponsor joke) is for ME to drop from 'Tuzzi to Taro. Currently MY weight (5'0 53 year old WF) equal six foot plus muscle god Tuzzi. Lovely on him. Me? Notsomush.  I have charged my fit bit and will renew my "healthy grandma" goal. When I check off each player's weight on the weigh (get it?) down to my new boy #67 Taro Hirose I will get the reward of new hockey swag.

Tuzzi=199  START

Larkin= 198

Helm= 192

Fabbri=190

Zadina=189

Bernier=185

Hirose=162  JERSEY TIME!

Number 2.  Did I mention I am getting a grandson for my birthday? SQUEEE!! The only problem is California is about 2,300 miles away. I will be tracking mileage walked/ran on my fitbit till I "walk out to Cali" which is what I keep threatening to do anyway...ha ha.  ha.  Currently at 7.42 miles. I will be a healthy, fun grandma for this little dude!

Sunday, Jan 6, 2021

 6:40 am

I have insomnia. So at 3am I listen to podcasts; primarily to remember normal conversation. "Ologies" is my favorite. I listen to "The Winged Wheel" to keep up on hockey.  I enjoy MBMBAM and all of their shenanigans. Esp, "Shmanners".  I adore "The History of English". I used to enjoy Kevin Smith and Marc Benardin's  Fatman Beyond. Somehow Apple got TedTalks in my queue and this morning I ended up listening to "The Science of Happiness"  There was a Cis couple and also a grown daughter and her father. They all mentioned an exercise:

 https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/36_questions_for_increasing_closeness   

From this random collection I gleaned the following soundbites.

Time means nothing.

Conscious breath is helpful.

Mindfulness is vital.

I crave excitement and novelty.

I hope my kids trust me.

Also, every ad in all my algorithms, is pushing online therapists. WTF?!

The New York Times just thumped onto the back porch. I look forward to not completing the crossword puzzle.

7:00am

Twenty ONE minutes: Day 2--I am retired. I can get up when I want.

or Time is a Construct

There is a podcast (ALT universe?) I enjoy. This morning as I listened to the MBMBAM boys try and settle on a catch phrase for 2021 --I decided to up my promised writing time to 21 minutes per day. So, I will now begin to free write until 7:47am.  

This morning, I was rudely awakened an hour earlier than necessary because (buckle your seatbelt... this is a long ride) the dishwasher is broken. 

In an effort to reboot the control panel on the dishwasher, my very helpy husband flipped ALL the fuses in box. Whilst the power was cut; my Ipod (!) friendly radio/CD player alarm clock lost it's effing mind. DH then "reset" it. NOTE: He did not inform me of these actions. HE JUST TURNED ON THE ALARM FOR fucking 5:56am!! 

So there I am, cozy in my warm bed, half asleep--listening via my earbuds, to smart boys being funny. I was reveling in their joyous laughter...when I hear an odd BEEP BEEP BEEP.  It rapidly ascended to a panic mode alarm that in my sleepy haze, I assumed was Pete's alarm. He often forgets to turn it off. I remove one earbud to ID mystery noise. It was not his alarm. IT WAS MY ALARM! I haven't used that alarm in over 8 years! I stumble towards the bloody thing and struggle to remember which button needs to be pushed. The power outlet is behind my huge dresser and I am not about to move it. The battery light is also flashing so I pop the battery cover to discover white crusty danger residue has built up  

I struggle to remove acid-y AA batteries. Decide I hate the blue glow of this outdated device. Fail to find the STOP button, or the power button. Wonder why there are two different remotes. Wash my hands. Worry about how to dispose of nasty batteries. Stomp downstairs and give DH a piece of my mind. GRRRR.

TIME.

Daily FreeWriting: One

 Yesterday afternoon was a recurrence of the old anxiety of living in this world today. Truly a dark day for  democracy.  A routine procedural vote to fact check states' Electoral College votes descended into a farcical riot. I had just started to not ponder what fresh hell would surface each morning. Alas, if a glimmer of hope for sanity and a safe planet appears on my horizon-- something horrific almost immediately negates it. 

 My lame joke about GA was only cheerful for a few hours. Mid afternoon POTUS45 and his herd of angry idiots literally stormed The White House. My guts churned.  I have no power to change any of this. I voted. NOT FOR HIM. I wish for peace. 

 This morning I listened to Vietnamese author Thich Nhat Hanh's Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. 

 I wish that I didn't want to respond to his efforts, to be aware of relationships with other people and with the natural world, with sarcasm and bitterness. I photograph beauty around me. Making myself aware of my environment. Sharing positive images with the world. I do try to remedy its pollution and injustices. Apparently, I am not trying hard enough. His deceptively simple practices of breathing and centering encourage his readers to work for peace in the world. BUT HOW MUCH IS MY JOB?  He wants (I WANT) to sustain inner peace by turning mindless responses into the mindful action. In Brook's "Caleb's Crossing", the protag learns to walk through the woods not making a sound with her steps. Heel first, roll through. Katniss, my inspiration for fictional bravery, also is at peace in the woods.   (28 minutes)

New Hope

 ~No, this isn't a Star Wars post.  But this morning Georgia left the Dark Side. whew.

~I haven't written shit in months. I mean to change that starting NOW. I hereby promise to add writing for 20 minutes every morning to my ...

"On the Daily" List.

1. Walk dogs. +1mile. no matter what weather

 2. yoga/strength

 3. chicken chores

4.  Duolingo/Spanish

5.  Drink ALL the water (66oz/8 cups)

6. Write for 20 minutes.

7.  Two emails/two petitions/two "effin do gooder" tasks

Ideally, I would like to get these done before noon. My good writing time is assuredly before 8am. If I get these done. And shower and make dinner?  I WIN!

2020 Wrap Up- The bitter year

My family made it through 2020 w/out getting "The Covid".   Pete and Z got multiple tests all negative. Pete (our delicate snowflake) has had several really weird rashes, eye swelling and bad attitude to accompany his normal sinus drama.  PFFFT. #preppershelf